When I was a teen, humour was a bit crass. Particularly on the radio. There was this joke about a woman from the countryside going to the capital and being mocked by men.
“A woman was sitting in a train. Her clothes weren’t sophisticated, her face wasn’t plain, but her make-up was very simple. Everything about her was screaming of deep countryside. At the next station the train stopped for a short time. Two men came in. There was quite a lot of free seats in the wagon, but they went to sit near the woman. They were smirking. Where are you going to, asked one of them. I’m going to Paris, she said, pronouncing the s of Paris so that it would rhyme with Nice. Her reply sparked guffaws, the men wouldn’t stop laughing, slapping their legs, almost crying of laughter. Once they had stopped laughing, one of them asked, mockingly, are you going to Paris with two S? No, she replied, I’m going there with two jerks.”
Are you going to Paris with two S? – No, I’m going there with two jerks.
I was remembering this joke as I was sitting in a train on my way back from Paris. It was packed, and instead of having a nice comfortable seat, I had to get on a jump seat near the doors.
I was enjoying reading a book, when we reached a station. I stood up to let people in, then sat down again. Two young men, who looked in their early twenties, put their huge military-like bags on the floor, and sat on them. The one on the left had sleek black hair, his skin was so white that it was almost translucent. He had a thin strip of hair above his upper lip. His clothes were as black as his hair. He mostly looked like an ill crow. The other young man had brown spiky hair. He was quite large and healthy in comparison. I went back to my book.
After ten minutes or so, I got up and went to the lavatory. The two guys followed me. Then as I was heading back to my seat, the ill crow asked me the time. Quarter to four, I said. I grabbed my book. I couldn’t read. The two guys were chuckling and whispering. They just wouldn’t stop. They were also moving their body in a weird way. I didn’t want to look. I wanted to literally bury myself into the pages. They were chuckling louder. The whispers were now audible. Ill crow kept repeating the same words. I slowly looked up.
The two guys were chuckling and whispering. They just wouldn’t stop.
“Big tent, big tent.” He was repeating the same words again and again, lifting his buttocks off his improvised seat, and pushing his pelvis upward. “Big tent, big tent.” Ill crow and his companion both had a huge erection.
He took two steps forward, and started shaking his pelvis near my nose.
“Big tent, big tent.” I locked my jaws. Looked back at my book, holding it so tight that the knuckles of my fingers went white. “Big tent, big tent.” Ill crow got up, took two steps forward, and started shaking his pelvis near my nose. I turned my body on the side, pretending not to see. “Big tent, big tent, get some.”
I was getting really sick. I could smell him. I was so nauseous. I just wanted to go home. There was no controller, why was no one checking the tickets, I screamed in my head. I wanted that train to stop so that I could escape, but there was no stop before my destination. I was trapped.
I was trapped.
Two hours or so later, the train arrived at the station. I got up, took my bags, and opened the door. As I was about to step out, the guys asked again if I wanted some of it while touching their groin. I had been quiet all that time, pretending to ignore them, but that was the last straw. You are a disgrace for mankind, I snapped, you disgust me. I pulled the door, when I felt someone pushing me. I was completely panicked, I thought they were trying to make me fall on the platform.
I turned my head.
And there I saw a huge number of people getting irritated by me not getting out of the train. That’s when it hit me. The train was indeed packed. There were lots of people who had heard those two disgusting men harass me. And nobody came to my help.